I’ve been up all night, too exhausted to sleep. I spent the evening making churros and now I fear the sugar overload is pulsing through my veins, making sleep impossible. Sugar or stress, it could be either, or both.
One of my worst habits is my evening rerun. I replay my day, my week, my month, my year and pick apart every flaw or time I went wrong. Lately, I’ve had plenty of material. I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was in middle school, maybe even earlier. In high school I was in the school’s newspaper and then I gave it up. Just stopped writing.
Truthfully, I had a journalism teacher that would regularly embarrass me infront of my peers and it made the class unbearable.
I thought it would be possible to put my passion on the back burner and still live a happy life. In college, I was drawn toward literary classes and ended up majoring in Philosophy. I wasn’t necessarily set up for a career and I felt extremely unmotivated by any other opportunities in front of me.
This regret is what keeps me up.
I spent the past two years regretting giving up something I loved just because of one terrible woman. This regret is what keeps me up. I wish I could go back.